Parenting is a great job. A job I wouldn't trade for the ANYTHING but damn it is a hard. I spend my nights worrying about the choices I have made and praying that I can provide the best environment to my children. I spend my days redirecting, playing, cooking, cleaning, teaching, dog walking, running (by exercising and by chasing little people), and learning.
There is no perfect equation. Some days I do a little more of one thing than the other and on many days I even add a few more jobs to my duty list (e.g. mail carrier, landscaper, etc.).In a nut shell, there are days when my jobs are WAY too many and my reinforcement is WAY too few.
Maybe I am just needy... but I really respond well to, "you are doing great" every now and again and not just from my husband (although he could do it a little more too).
While I appreciate hearing that others have experienced my pain I don't particularly want to hear "Oh, I've remember when or I've been there!" and have it bird dogged with "I would not put up with ________ (e.g. child screaming)". Really?! By all means... Take over then!
And do you really think that giving a parent a dirty look when their child is screaming will actually help the situation? Really!? It doesn't! Better yet, do you think it will make the child STOP screaming? Hell NO it won't! Let me tell you what it does do. It stresses the parent. the. hell. out! Even MORE than before you passed your inconsiderate glare... so the odds are you made the situation even WORSE than before. Good job. There is no EASY button (how awesome would that be?). It is hard. Some days it is harder than others but please (for the love of all things sweet) have the awareness to see that the parent is trying! I am TRYING.
Now I am not saying that I am perfect (FAR from it!) nor am I saying that I couldn't benefit from some constructive guidance (I would wait a week or so before for you share your guidance... just saying.). I'm just trying to say that a little praise can go a LONG way and it can absolutely help a person be more willing to listen. (TIP: if you have to ask yourself if you have communicated your appreciation, gratitude, and/or admiration to someone then the odds are you haven't or it was too long ago so by all means DO IT AGAIN.).
Through parenting I have learned that feeling valued is important in ALL jobs. I used to think that seeing my children grow and learn would be enough... In reality it will most likely me be many years before I see the fruit of my labor. So until then, I will take a "well done" and "carry on warrior" any chance I can.
Whew! I feel better now. Thanks for listening.
3 comments:
You are an AWESOME mom! Even though I am just surrounded by even more children all day at work, I do at least have someone tell me occasionally that I am doing a good job.
It is so hard when people glare. Even Allen will tell me that I just need to leave the store when the kids are acting up. So, I just waste all the time that I just spent putting groceries in the cart and have to come back later to do it all again? I don't think so. He has no idea because he is pretty much never as responsible for the children. Not once has he had to go grocery shopping by himself with two children.
I've had other moms say something like, "you are doing a great job" when my kids are going nuts. It really does help. I've sworn that I will do the same for other moms.
Realized that this post was from last month. I just now saw it. I hope that Wilson is having a good birthday!
Thanks Angie! I love you.
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