Test Me

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23 NIV

Many of you know that we have been living in limbo for the past four months. We know that with Chris' job we will move often. However, this time our move is "supposed" to be a little closer to home. Literally. We are supposed to move to WV... 45 minutes from where we both grew up...We have held the information in to protect our loved ones from disappointment if the job/move didn't go through... We finally shared our joy as everything looked more certain but we are no longer certain. Funding is an issue and bureaucracy is having its way with us... We are still very optimistic but realize that this might not goes as we had originally hoped. (We thought we would be there by now.) This is trying on Chris and I. We miss our family. I have gotten very excited about the idea that our new normal would be living close to family. In my mind, I have been dreaming of what the new normal would look like... I've pictured myself: helping my brother and sister-in-law (to be) with wedding plans, meeting my sister-in-law (Chris' sister) in Columbus for zoo trips, driving to Zanesville to met my great friend (Lissa) and her kids, flying to Florida to see Carol and have some girl get-away time, riding horses at the farm, driving to D.C. to visit with brother-in-law...

I always look forward to a new transition and opportunity. I am trying to continue to bloom where we are planted. It is beautiful here. I see eagles soaring and snow covered mountain peaks every day. I honestly do LOVE it here... I love the weather (except in June when it is so cold that I need a sweater.). I love the landscape. I need to remember what the Lord is trying to teach me and continue to embrace each day as a gift. I am trying.

I am trying to bloom on my knees and am asking the Lord to help me know where we are meant to be and give me peace in the journey. 

This poem helps me keep perspective. 

By Ruth Bell Graham

Test me, Lord, and give me strength
to meet each test
unflinching, unafraid;
not striving nervously to do my best,
not self-assured, or careless as in
jest but with Your aid.

Purge me, Lord, and give me grace to
bear the heat
of cleansing flame;
not bitter at my lowly lot, but mete
to bear my share of suffering and keep sweet,
in Jesus’ name.